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Intro post.
Jul. 8th, 2012 06:38 pmOkay. I guess it's time for an intro post?
Aaaaa but I'm a lot more used to how things are on tumblr... where I can just be like, VALIDATE MY MOMENTARY FRUSTRATIONS!!! but I can't really do that here... I think I'll get used to it though. I'm just gonna say whatever comes to mind about my plurality and other subjects I've had brewing up for a while now...
I'm Sibyl. I'm nonhuman, I'm not sure how. My current theory is that I'm an indigo child, but it's hard to find anything on that subject that isn't full of new agey fluffy white bullshit, so I'm starting to prefer the term alienkin, although a few key characteristics about myself that I consider to be non-human in nature are covered really well by the indigo framework... particularly my really intense need for physical affection and a sense of opposition to authority that, I feel runs deeper than ideological differences, however fundamental. Not to say I don't have ideological differences, I do! And they're really intense, and really important to me -- but I feel like I would have them in any possible universe, and that that is absolutely fundamental to my existence.
Anatomically, I have horns that change in shape, size, texture, even material pretty frequently, but the rest of my anatomy is kind of a mystery because in this head, visualizations usually aren't too much a part of our self-concept... We don't have a functioning physical headspace, for example, and we don't really know what we look like. We can visualize things, but it's mostly super basic like shapes and stuff... it never comes in clearly, so it's not a huge part of our self-concept.
We tend not to announce switching, because it happens several times a sentence. The three folks at the moment who front with any degree of regularity all have their own pretty unique typing styles -- I'm probably going to have to develop a new one that meets the uh, standards of formality that I feel like exists on dreamwidth, but I feel like I can pretty much tell who wrote what part of what sentence by reading it. I use a lot of deliberately complicated language, pushing myself to utilize my extensive vocabulary. J tends to be calmer and more... gentle, and casual, and he uses a lot of hearts. F is careful to use proper capitalization and punctuation, and has a really distinctive typing style anyway.
Sibyl isn't a name. It's a title. The Sibyl is the person who has ownership of the body and its past and all of that stuff; we had a mythological concept of the Sibyl before we actually had a Sibyl. Pandora and a few other strays merged down to make a Sibyl. We didn't really do it on purpose. It just kind of happened.
J's been in the system since we were fifteen. Although he's human (EDIT: This is a damn lie, he's the biggest indigo ever born), he is a very distinctive person; we were able to pinpoint him before we were able to identify reliably any pieces of the Sibyl. His energy is masculine, but not threatening -- like we said earlier it's gentle, reassuring, sometimes kind of guiding but only in the most subtle ways. He's about as passive as it's possible for a person to be. He fronts regularly; there have been periods where he fronted for months at a time with almost no interruption. He takes care of us a lot, with basic chores and cooking and going for walks alone... he likes to be alone. Unlike Sibyl, who is sarcastic, sometimes blunt, I'd like to be blunter, and always busy, always forming elaborate plans related to social networking and community building.
Since they're such opposite people, we had a really hard time of things until about a year ago when we realized we actually were different people -- it was hard to balance our separate needs, especially without any form of communication. We ended up in really, really bad shape -- we were homeless for about three years, and it took some serious anguish and serious work to fix that situation.
In this system we get a lot of "visitors", although I hesitate to call them that because they don't have their own homes or anything, the way other people say they do. We believe the psychological explanation 100%. What we get is fragments, basically, usually with source material, who show up and leave. We have a working theory that there's a maturation process that it should be theoretically possible to have a fragment go through to become a whole person -- there's another member who's been here a few months now through that theory, and is certainly not a fragment.
Since there's about a million of her on tumblr, who she doesn't really feel she fits in with, and since her relationship to source material is really different, she's still trying to figure out how she feels about being open about what her source material is -- it's more how I would feel reading the journal of my grandmother or something. She's trying on a new name, we'll call her Freya for now? She's also really distinctive -- she's assertive to the point of often being demanding, especially when it comes to getting others to pay attention to her. But I'm making her shy by talking about her.
Especially because she's not even sure if the maturation process is sustainable or going to work. I don't want to count my irons before they hatch, you know? It's a tangled web we're dealing with here. I'm not comfortable being counted as a full-fledged system member or anything.
Anyway, here's. Us. Or the nature of our plurality, at least.
Aaaaa but I'm a lot more used to how things are on tumblr... where I can just be like, VALIDATE MY MOMENTARY FRUSTRATIONS!!! but I can't really do that here... I think I'll get used to it though. I'm just gonna say whatever comes to mind about my plurality and other subjects I've had brewing up for a while now...
I'm Sibyl. I'm nonhuman, I'm not sure how. My current theory is that I'm an indigo child, but it's hard to find anything on that subject that isn't full of new agey fluffy white bullshit, so I'm starting to prefer the term alienkin, although a few key characteristics about myself that I consider to be non-human in nature are covered really well by the indigo framework... particularly my really intense need for physical affection and a sense of opposition to authority that, I feel runs deeper than ideological differences, however fundamental. Not to say I don't have ideological differences, I do! And they're really intense, and really important to me -- but I feel like I would have them in any possible universe, and that that is absolutely fundamental to my existence.
Anatomically, I have horns that change in shape, size, texture, even material pretty frequently, but the rest of my anatomy is kind of a mystery because in this head, visualizations usually aren't too much a part of our self-concept... We don't have a functioning physical headspace, for example, and we don't really know what we look like. We can visualize things, but it's mostly super basic like shapes and stuff... it never comes in clearly, so it's not a huge part of our self-concept.
We tend not to announce switching, because it happens several times a sentence. The three folks at the moment who front with any degree of regularity all have their own pretty unique typing styles -- I'm probably going to have to develop a new one that meets the uh, standards of formality that I feel like exists on dreamwidth, but I feel like I can pretty much tell who wrote what part of what sentence by reading it. I use a lot of deliberately complicated language, pushing myself to utilize my extensive vocabulary. J tends to be calmer and more... gentle, and casual, and he uses a lot of hearts. F is careful to use proper capitalization and punctuation, and has a really distinctive typing style anyway.
Sibyl isn't a name. It's a title. The Sibyl is the person who has ownership of the body and its past and all of that stuff; we had a mythological concept of the Sibyl before we actually had a Sibyl. Pandora and a few other strays merged down to make a Sibyl. We didn't really do it on purpose. It just kind of happened.
J's been in the system since we were fifteen. Although he's human (EDIT: This is a damn lie, he's the biggest indigo ever born), he is a very distinctive person; we were able to pinpoint him before we were able to identify reliably any pieces of the Sibyl. His energy is masculine, but not threatening -- like we said earlier it's gentle, reassuring, sometimes kind of guiding but only in the most subtle ways. He's about as passive as it's possible for a person to be. He fronts regularly; there have been periods where he fronted for months at a time with almost no interruption. He takes care of us a lot, with basic chores and cooking and going for walks alone... he likes to be alone. Unlike Sibyl, who is sarcastic, sometimes blunt, I'd like to be blunter, and always busy, always forming elaborate plans related to social networking and community building.
Since they're such opposite people, we had a really hard time of things until about a year ago when we realized we actually were different people -- it was hard to balance our separate needs, especially without any form of communication. We ended up in really, really bad shape -- we were homeless for about three years, and it took some serious anguish and serious work to fix that situation.
In this system we get a lot of "visitors", although I hesitate to call them that because they don't have their own homes or anything, the way other people say they do. We believe the psychological explanation 100%. What we get is fragments, basically, usually with source material, who show up and leave. We have a working theory that there's a maturation process that it should be theoretically possible to have a fragment go through to become a whole person -- there's another member who's been here a few months now through that theory, and is certainly not a fragment.
Since there's about a million of her on tumblr, who she doesn't really feel she fits in with, and since her relationship to source material is really different, she's still trying to figure out how she feels about being open about what her source material is -- it's more how I would feel reading the journal of my grandmother or something. She's trying on a new name, we'll call her Freya for now? She's also really distinctive -- she's assertive to the point of often being demanding, especially when it comes to getting others to pay attention to her. But I'm making her shy by talking about her.
Especially because she's not even sure if the maturation process is sustainable or going to work. I don't want to count my irons before they hatch, you know? It's a tangled web we're dealing with here. I'm not comfortable being counted as a full-fledged system member or anything.
Anyway, here's. Us. Or the nature of our plurality, at least.
